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We get a great deal of e-mail from or fans and readers and this one about the number of Pineapple Jucie Drinkers (Obnoxious Word for on the Down Low) that was a true shocker. Checkout the large number of profiles sent to Obnoxious Media of a number of men living double lives below:
Dear Mr. Obnoxious,
I wanted to write you a note that I felt you would be bold enough to share on your blog about the on going problem with black gay men dating or mainly using sites and apps like Jack’d, Grinder, and Adam 4 Adam to hook up. Constantly you have a large poll of guys that are DL or they are gay and act or think they are the only person that knows it, which causes a serious problem.
Brothers , along with tons of other “Good Men”, would like to apologize for our socially challenged, possibly chivalry bankrupt brethren: the guys that cry THIRSTY constantly and consistently. First off let me begin by saying that the slang term “THIRSTY” is misused, overused and abused. However, the same may be said about T.H.O.T. and unbothered too.
The actual slang term THIRSTY means to pursue someone desperately to the point of obnoxiousness, annoyingness, or irrationality. What I find to be the most problematic about the word THIRSTY is that it has placed so many eligible bachelors in an apprehensive and defeatists state of mind. The fact that dudes are being called “thirsty” for revealing their interest, attraction and/or true feelings for another brother is indicative of how F*^KED-UP dating has become in 2015. In this, not helping the already damaged dating game amongst gay men in the 21st century.
Being attracted to the same sex has a lot of pros and cons as well. While traditional gender roles are a lot easier for our heterosexual counterparts, it’s a con that many of us try to apply to our nontraditional dating culture. Not to mention the large percentile of the gay community that choose to subscribe to traditional heterosexual roles, where the submissive men are expected to be less forward than the dominate one, which is already nerve-racking. Then you add the term “THIRSTY” to the equation and makes approaching an individual even more chaotic.
Before you call a man thirsty – take some time and reflect first. Ask yourself: Is he trying too hard or is he simply making an effort? There is a HUGE difference between the two. Let’s be honest, it’s not hard to find sex in the gay community. We aren’t extinct or in short supply, the guy might just happen to want one in particular and that’s you. Often, it’s a matter of desirability not desperation. Many people complain about chivalry being dead and that guys don’t know how to date anymore. The reality is that they’ve never witnessed or been groomed to be chivalrous and by default mislabel any act of pursuit THIRSTY.
The issue with modern society, however, is a lot of times intentions can get perceived the wrong way. There’s very little face-to-face contact, thanks to our social media personas, so when some special attention is shown in person, we don’t know how to react. In all fairness, you can’t expect everyone to be able to identify a gentleman when they weren’t raised by one. Instead of constantly assuming that the guys just wants to get into your pants, give them the benefit of the doubt, before judging their intentions. Believe it or not, there are gay men who exist and seek more than just physical attraction. When you constantly label them “thirsty,” you’re preventing any aspect of a further connection by shelving their motives before they can even get off the ground, so to speak. I understand the whole “I don’t want to settle” notion, but the fact of the matter could be that this could be the guy you waited on.
Last and certainly not least, are you considering the BAIT that you’re putting out there? We all know THE BOY WHO CALLS THIRSTY like clockwork who may be in need of a cat scan. If you constantly post half naked photos, sexually charged post and nothing of substance, what more do you have to offer besides sex? The way you present, carry and behave on social media and public will have a lot to do with the type of men you attract too. Let’s cut the BS and check the egos: we all need to be completely honest with ourselves here after all, we’re the common denominator in our dating days. Take a look at the people and behaviors of people you’ve deemed “THIRSTY”; do you see any of these qualities in yourself? If so, make a note of these and take the steps needed to work on them. Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change. This is not easy to do, but it’s one of the best things you can do to attract healthy love, in fact it’s vital. Knowing that you’re in a healthy state, physically, mentally, and emotionally will raise your confidence levels and in turn your self-esteem, which will in turn attract confident, healthy brother with high self-esteem. The problem can be what you are advertising.
This is a simple case of needing to open your mind. No one likes rejection. It is difficult to work up the courage and confidence to approach someone. Obviously men are not going to approach you if it seems like you might shut them down and then blast them for being thirsty. The real message here is don’t judge people before you have even had a conversation with them. If you aren’t willing to put yourself out there or check your ego guys will pick up on that immediately and not waste their time. In life we have to step out our comfort zone to get and receive what we’ve never had. Do you really want to sacrifice a chance for happiness due to outside validation and immaturity on your behalf? Gentlemanly behavior might be foreign to the masses, but the appreciation for it is an acquired taste. Men who don’t understand this are shortsighted. If you are afraid to take a chance on a guy, take one anyway. What you don’t do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.
